When Parenting Becomes Survival Mode: With Paul Voss
When Parenting Becomes Survival Mode is a reality many families know all too well.
In this episode of All Abilities, No Filter, we’re joined by Paul Voss, a father of eight whose life changed when his youngest child was diagnosed with autism. Paul shares the raw, behind-the-scenes truth of parenting through years of exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and emotional burnout while still showing up for a full family.
This conversation isn’t about perfect parenting or clinical theory. It’s about what actually happens when families are pushed into survival mode, and what helped Paul move from constant chaos to a calmer, more intentional home. Along the way, he shares practical changes that didn’t just support his autistic child, but improved life for the entire family including siblings with ADHD.
In this episode, we discuss:
Parenting during extreme exhaustion and sleep loss
Why common advice often doesn’t work in real life
How small environmental changes can create big shifts
The emotional weight parents especially fathers carry silently
Finding hope without minimizing how hard autism can be
This episode is for parents who are tired, overwhelmed, and wondering if it ever gets better. You’re not alone, and survival mode doesn’t have to be permanent.
My name is Paul Voss, and I’m the dad of eight kids, ranging in age from 17 down to 5½.
Three and a half years ago, our world changed when our youngest child was diagnosed with autism. Like many parents, we thought we were prepared for challenges—we already had a big family, busy schedules, and experience navigating different personalities and needs. What we weren’t prepared for was the level of exhaustion, confusion, and isolation that came with autism.
For years, sleep was almost nonexistent. Nights blurred together. Days felt like survival mode. Doctors had answers, but they were often clinical, disconnected, or didn’t work for our real life. Advice was plentiful, but results were rare. And while everyone tells you to “take care of yourself,” that advice feels hollow when you’re running on fumes and responsible for seven other kids who still need you to show up.
I’m not a clinician. I’m not selling a miracle cure. I’m a dad who lived through the hardest seasons of parenting and refused to accept that constant chaos was the best it would ever get.
That journey led me to write my first book, Autism Sucks: Finding Hope in the Chaos. I chose that title deliberately—because autism does suck sometimes, and pretending otherwise doesn’t help struggling parents. What helps is honesty, practical changes, and knowing you’re not alone.
One of my core goals with the book—and with every podcast conversation—is simple:
If something we did can help even one parent get six hours of uninterrupted sleep, then everything we went through was worth it.
But the story d…Read More